D1D YOU LOV3 H1M, D4V3?
by pageofspace
Summary: Short drabble about Bro's death. Small universe alterations. Prompts: God Only Knows (Bioshock Infinite), Unfinished Business (Mumford & Sons Cover).
1. Chapter 1

_God only knows what I'd be without you―  
I many not always love you,  
but long as there are stars above you,  
you never need to doubt it,  
I'll make you so sure about it._

Blood spills onto the stone beneath your feet. It's an eerie scene. Everything is doused in green, there's a maniacal killer on the loose. And Bro's not there to help you anymore.

You two did everything together. Built forts out of turntables and cinder blocks, shopped around for shades, and pigged out on junk food, to name a few things. He was practically your dad, though you taught him just as much as he taught you. You can't imagine what he didn't know already, though. You always looked up to him. He was like some sort of party god― he could keep taking care of you and teaching you how to strife and restocking the kitchen for days on end without any sleep. You always thought he was immortal, that he'd always be there.

You look over his body, stoic as ever. He knew this was coming. He prepared the fuck out of you for this. You almost knew this was coming. Hell, you knew it was coming, but you never expected it to go down like this or happen so soon. This only makes you wonder how he knew, and if something like this happened before, and if it will happen again.

A memory stirs. You see a kid, in his room. He looks like Bro, down to the shades at least. No hat. Black shirt with an orange hat on it. A sweet tattoo on his right arm. You're suddenly there with him. You glance around the room. Something that looks like a microwave. No turntables. It looks like your room, but... different.

The kid turns around and the memory shatters. You start to think of simpler times, before Bro started to teach you not to be so attached. You can faintly remember learning to walk, and running after him around the apartment after you got the hang of it. He'd always pick you up and carry you under his shoulder, going about his business. He'd put you down in the crib in his room and tuck you in for nap time, then sit at the computer for a while. You'd close your eyes, then he'd be back, picking you up and making sure you ate a snack or something, then you'd play with him some more.

He teared up when you recognized him by name. He told you once. You followed him around the place for days, calling his name whenever he'd do something, or whenever you wanted his attention, or whenever you were bored.

He never forced anything on you. He let you explore, and didn't restrict you from anything when you were crawling around, either. He let you play with the stereo, the computer, the turntables... any damage you did he could fix in a day's worth of work, anyway. He was ecstatic when you started taking a liking to the turntables, and always bought your music, even though you could give it to him for free and often insisted. You could never get him to accept it.

The memory stirs again. You see that kid, and now he's holding the microwave. He's looking at it intently. He's... putting his head inside? He falls over and it takes you a second to realize what's happened. _Holy fuck,_ you think. If that was Bro, then... he'd know that death is no obstacle when it comes to doing your duty.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Davesprite. He's in shambles, sobbing at Bro's feet. Suddenly, your legs give out and you're on the ground next to the both of them, trying to breathe. The colors are making your head spin, and it's all too much all at once. Your mind spirals into the void. Alternate timelines spin out of control in front of your eyes. Everything that you and your bro were, everything that you weren't, everything you could have been... it's all right there. And those timelines are as infinite as the stars.

You begin to wonder if this is what Jadesprite saw after she was prototyped with Bec. No doubt it was similar. There's a whole eternity staring back at you, watching you, almost. And you're watching back. With less force, no doubt, but you're so overpowered that you can't possibly see everything all at once, and you're no Becquerel. This is no walk in the park for you. This is draining. When you see it, you welcome the darkness.

You hear a faint pinging in the darkness. Slowly, it gets louder, until you come to.

Pesterchum. Figures.

It's Terezi. You reply to her. Before long, she begins to ask.

GC: D1D YOU LOV3 HIM, D4VE?

You think about this one. In a way, yes. He was your brother, and in that is a bond that cannot be broken or shared by any other in any of your timelines. In other ways, yes. He was your guardian. He kept you out of trouble, made sure you grew up right. And, if you do say so yourself, you turned out pretty rad. But he taught you not to love him. He was merely a tool in helping you grow and learn. He taught you that he was not a guardian. He taught you that he was not your brother. He taught you how to survive and function without him.

TG: no


	2. Chapter 2

_I shouted with passion, "I love you so much,"  
but feeling my skin, it was cold to the touch.  
You whispered, "Where are you?,"  
I questioned your doubt  
But soon realized  
you were talking to God now._

_But you have blood on your hands,  
And I know it's mine.  
...I just need more time.  
So get off your low,  
let's dance like we used to._

Dave, what's wrong?

Dave, are you okay?

Dave, I'm fine. Get up. I'll be alright.

You survey the scene. A large green platform, Dave and Davesprite looking over you. You're looking around but your head's not moving. You urge yourself to get up. This is important. Dave needs to be okay. There's no helping Davesprite, though. Poor kid. Dave's standing, he seems okay for now. He needs assurance. He needs some definition of what just happened.

"Where are you?" he asks.

"Dave, I'm right here!" You get up with less effort than you thought it'd take. You try waving your hands in front of him, but to no avail. He wasn't talking to you.

Davesprite looks up. Something's going to happen. Dave keeps looking at you, the you that's on the ground. A sharp but faint pain pierces your chest. _Oh, no._

You look yourself over. There's a fucking hole in your chest. Right in the center. And...

The body on the ground has a sword where your hole is. Your sword. Your _fucking_ sword.

No. This can't be possible. You can't be dead. You knew it was coming, but still... you can't be dead. Dave still needs you. Dave and his friends needed you to kill that Noir mutt that's on the loose. And you can't anymore _because you're fucking dead. _You needed to initiate the Scratch, too, but that's no longer an option. You won't be able to save those kids anymore, or give Dave guidance.

Being dead fucking sucks. And somehow, you've known that before.

You're suddenly back in the apartment, holding a red box in your hands. You have this fear. You don't want to do this. What if it doesn't work? The timelines may not match up, though you always transcended those. You close your eyes and put your head inside before activating the box. Then, darkness. You're jolted back to the present.

Dave's looking queasy. His shades are falling off, tears are streaming down his face. He doesn't look like he's aware of that. He's shaking. The shades fall. You reach for them, putting your hand in their path. They slow down a considerable amount and descend gently to the ground. They're gonna be a little scratched, but they'll be fine.

You look up at Dave's eyes. They're a beautiful shade of red. You've always known that. You don't know where he got them from, but they're mesmerizing regardless. Funny, someone once told you that about yours. Dave's seen them. When he was a kid.

He must've been two, maybe three. He might not remember. It was right after he started walking. He got curious about everything. He wanted to play with your turntables, practically anything remotely technological he could get his hands on, and swords. You were careful about the swords, but accidents happen sometimes.

But the stereo and tables were his favorites. You'd read in some 99 cent parenting magazine that playing classical music for little kids would help them be smarter when they grew up, stimulate their mind and shit, and you didn't mind it entirely though it wasn't quite your genre. It was calming.

And then you're that kid again. You're not dormant. You're talking to a friend though some chat program. This friend... no. Boyfriend. Jake. You remember him. He was... he helped you through a lot of shit, even though your breakup was one of the messiest things that had happened in your life, and his. He didn't desert you, though. He never did. You always had each other's backs. You became like brothers, like you and Dave, but on a smaller scale.

He mentions something about a waltz. Waltzing. Classical music. And you're two weeks in the future and classical music is everything you've heard in that time. You're waltzing in your room, by yourself, hoping that you could someday actually meet Jake in person and...

But no such luck. You're you again, and Dave is two or three. He gets up from in front of the TV and runs over to you in the kitchen. You hear him, put down the steak knife you're using to cut up vegetables for tonight's dinner, and wait.

He grabs your leg and looks up at you. "Bo!"

"What's up, lil' man?" you ask him. You crouch down to meet him.

"Danse! Moosics!" he says.

"You want to dance, kid?" You ask. Dave coos excitedly and claps his hands. "Then let's dance, then we'll have dinner."

A grin is plastered on Dave's face. You put on one of Mozart's waltzes, one of the ones Jake said was his favorite in another life. You take Dave's hands and lift him up onto the tops of your feet. He looks up and wriggles his toes into your socks. You laugh. The kid's curious as ever.

It gets to a good part in the music right after Dave looks like he's ready to start moving. You start out slow, waltzing in small steps. Dave immediately laughs, smiles, and tries to stamp his feet in excitement. You keep going, and after he gets the hang of it, you pick up the pace, matching the speed of the song. After the song ends, you lift him up and cradle him in your arms.

"How was that, lil' man?"

"Bo danse!" he shrieks.

You laugh. "Yeah, I do. Now, finish your movie and we'll eat, alright?"

He smiles and you psych him out of putting him down. You cradle him up again and give him a raspberry on his cheeks. He shrieks and laughs. You stop and laugh along with him, then put him down before walking back to the kitchen. Dave follows you and clings to your leg. You sigh happily and finish making dinner.

And then it's back in the present and Dave's falling. Right in front of you. You throw your spirit body under his to soften his fall, and surprisingly enough it knocks the breath out of you. He's safe, though, and that's all that matters. You look at Davesprite, and he trembles. He knows. You nod at him before taking off. Hopefully they'll be alright. Hell, you know they will. You'll see him soon enough.


	3. Chapter 3

_TT: ...  
TG: i know you're not him  
TG: but let me just fucking pretend for a second_

You let the kid hug you, taken aback for a minute. You've seen his face before, you know it. No, more than that. Deep within your soul, you feel a connection ignite with this kid. Searching your mind for something to say, you squeak out three words.

"Are you... Dave?"

He looks up at you through a pair of sunglasses. "Yeah." He sniffles and backs off, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Sorry. You look a lot like someone I knew."

"Likewise," you say.

He continues about his business, meeting the other three of you. He's the only beta you've met so far, and if that's the caliber of greeting you're going to be receiving from now on, you might as well get used to it. You sigh and look him over again. You know him. You've seen him before.

Then it hits you. _He's your bro._

You go over to him after he's done meeting the others. Roxy follows, and you turn around and tell her to get the others out of here. You follow him to the edge of the cliff you've met up on. He sits down and looks at the expanse of sky around him, sighing heavily. You stop a few feet behind him and let him breathe.

It doesn't take long for him to break down. Shit, it's too much for him. The time travel, the game... he was, what, thirteen when he started this game? At thirteen you couldn't even leave the house without falling into an ocean. At thirteen, you barely knew how to cook mac and cheese on a stove. This kid is a hero, as far as you're concerned.

You sit down next to him. "You alright, man?"

He lifts his face out of his hands and looks at you, shades dangling by a pinky. "No," he sobs. His hands go back to his face.

"Hey, Dave. Listen."

He quells the tears for a moment.

"I get it, man. I know who I was in a past life. I know I was your guardian."

He gasps. "So... do you remember anything?"

"Bits and pieces, like my other self remembered bits and pieces of me."

"Anything I can go off of? How do I know you're not lying?"

You smile. "When you were two or three, I think... yeah, right around that time, you wanted to learn how to dance. So... I guess... I put your feet on top of mine and we waltzed around the living room."

Dave smiles. "Yeah, and I didn't leave your side for the rest of the week."

"Literally. You didn't even want to sleep in your crib because we'd be apart from one another."

Dave gives a soft chuckle. "You still have those Strider eyes?" he asks.

You take off your shades and look him in the eye. Dave stares at them in amazement. You imagine your guardian's eyes are similar to Dave's, fiery as the hot Texas sun right before it goes down. There's a pause as Dave looks over the irises.

"Guess so. Roxy loves 'em. Jake, too," you say after a bit.

"Jake? Like... the kid over there?" Dave asks. You both put your sunglasses back on.

"Yeah, that's him. He... uh... we broke up. We're... still friends, though. I've got his back, he's got mine. Sort of like... brothers."

Dave nods. "Huh. And Roxy...?"

You sigh. "I don't know."

There's a silence for a few seconds. Dave inches closer to you. You stand up and hold out a hand for him. He takes it, and you pull him up, hugging him. "You don't have to pretend I'm your brother, Dave. Don't give it a second thought, 'cause I'm not going to think twice before I call you my bro."

* * *

He lets you go and John, Rose, and Jade are here. You smile and you run over to introduce them to Dirk.

Still, Terezi's words come back to you.

GC: D1D YOU LOV3 H1M, D4V3?  
TG: no  
GC: HOW COULD YOU NOT?  
GC: H3 W4S L1K3 YOUR OLD3R HUMAN LUSUS  
GC: H3 T4UGHT YOU F1GHT1NG 4ND PUPP3TS 4ND SWORDS 4ND LOTS OF OTH3R COOL STUFF

You think for a second. Could you be honestly sure that you didn't love your brother? Dirk would say otherwise. And he loved you. He wouldn't have all those memories if he didn't care that much. He wouldn't cherish you like he did.

TG: terezi, wait  
GC: WH4T?  
TG: yes  
TG: i did love him  
GC: BUT YOU JUST S41D  
TG: i know what i said  
TG: i reconsidered


End file.
